LuvDrunk Sports

Well a fine hello and how do you do to both of the Luvdrunkards that
read this column… as you know, the Super Bowl is rapidly approaching.
Not everybody knows this, but Super Bowl Sunday boasts the highest
rate of domestic violence of the year. So there's that to look forward
to. Anyway, not a lot has happened during the football season. I think
I heard something about Michael Vick having issues with his pets but
can't really be sure.

Moving is a real bitch. I ended up moving from the glorious streets of
Union City to the mean streets of Montclair. It's an interesting
transition. On the one hand I know longer worry about getting stabbed
while I'm out at night walking the dogs. On the other hand, the
Laundromats here aren't quite up to snuff with the fine establishments
that help to provide Union City with such character. Don't worry, this
isn't another Laundromat review, we're not here to fuck around after
all…we're here to talk football. So let's do that.

My father is a Green Bay Packers fan from the days of Bart Starr and
Vince Lombardi. He went to 'Nam twice (my father I mean; not really
sure about Vince Lombardi, I think he was Italian. Anyway, for a while
I really loved eating Thai food and I used to make it at home. The
results were less than stellar in hindsight, but at the time I really
enjoyed it. So I had all this Thai food stuff in the house and my
father would always refer to it as "thigh food."
"You know that you're not saying it right don't you?"
"When I was in the service, we used to call it Thigh-land. You know
like if you'd go there on leave."
"Really?"
"Yeah we called it 'Thigh-land'.
"Ohhhh…I see."
"Yeah cause that's where you'd go to get some thigh."
"Yeah I got it."
"Thigh-land."



There are some really good restaurants in the Montclair, NJ area. In
fact, there is a new website contest based around this fact. Until
March 17th, send in the most disturbing and inappropriate images you
can find to: admin@luvdrunk.org! The person who sends in the most
unsettling photo will win an all expenses paid "lunch special lunch"
at the Golden River Chinese restaurant on Bloomfield Avenue with
myself, internet business tycoon Johnny Larue, his wife and two baby
girls! (all expenses to be paid for by LuvDrunk.org and affiliates)
My girlfriend and I have been trying to cook at home lately to save
some money. It's not working. I ended up financing a brand new bed for
$2000.00. It's really comfortable though.



We ended up with the new bed because we needed a split box spring. The
apartment we moved into is on the second and third floors of this
older building and the staircases were too narrow to move a full box
spring up. Moving in involved going through the basement and then
carrying everything up five or six flights of narrow, winding stairs.
These were scantly lit and reminded me (and this poor bastard who got
stuck helping us move) of the circles of hell. Oh, and speaking of
hell, my girlfriend is now studying law at the local university.

There certainly is a lot of hoopla surrounding the Super Bowl. I don't
really get the appeal. The commercials are pretty funny though. I
always liked that Little Caesar's pizza commercial with the baby and
the slice of pizza with all the cheese and there's just so much of it
that the baby gets flung through the entire house delighted with the
whole escapade. Good stuff.

The New England Patriots have a totally unblemished record thus far.
They are the first team to have a perfect record since the 1928
Cleveland Steamers. Their quarterback Tom Brady is the sort of guy you
just can't help but hate. He just has too much going for him. He's
young, incredibly wealthy, and good-looking. Good looking in that
rugged yet soft sort of way where you know you'd feel safe and warm in
his arms and it makes you hate him all the more for the uncomfortable
feelings it brings up in you. He's the sort of guy you secretly hope
will get diagnosed with testicular cancer. He probably won't though.

I think everyone really wants the Giants to win. If they lose it'll be
depressing. A NY Giants loss would just signify that you can't really
win in life unless you're a "Tom Brady" type person, and who needs
that? Not me, and if you're reading this column to begin with,
probably not you.



Also, Heath Ledger died. We here at LuvDrunk.org would just like to
take this opportunity to express our heartfelt relief at knowing that
The Dark Knight is already finished.